Because I'm a Sophomore, Freshman

Tomorrow I move into Wengatz Hall to kick off my second year at Taylor University. It's about time, too. Time is seriously moving at the speed of smell here. I'm basically all packed up except for the last minute things (i.e. my labtop), so I'll be finishing up the rest later tonight or early tomorrow morning.

Let's make some magic this year.

"With man this is impossible..."

Alright. This is about a week overdue, I know. Unfortunately, being very active for an entire month didn't correct my old habit of easily falling into lazy tendencies. This past week has been...odd. Time seems to be moving at the speed of smell -- then again I look back every night at what I did during the day and notice how fast time flies.

Agh, I just want to leave and get back Wengatz Hall where I belong.

Anyways, let's talk about my counseling job at Kanakuk Kamps. The four weeks that I was there defined my summer for me. I've never had a job that demanded so much of me -- but in return rewarded me with so much. And no, money has nothing to do with it (besides, I underestimated how little my paycheck was going to be anyways). No, I'm talking about "non-perishable" rewards that you'll take with you the rest of your life.

Of all the things I took from my time at kamp, there's one thing that I know is noteworthy:

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Yeah, I've heard that one, too. The disciples asked who among them can be saved, since Jesus just claimed it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rick man to enter the kingdom of God.

Let's cut to the chase. Am I willing to do what the rick man could not -- completely give up all I have for the sake of Christ? And no, I'm not just referring to money and our American luxuries. Am I willing -- or even able -- to give up all that I am for Christ? My reputation? My dignity? My honor (whatever honor a sophomore in college can possibly have)?

I've spent the greater part of this past year building myself up for what I hope to be the best year of my life. I'm at a good school. I got lots of friends I'll be returning to. I even got an awesome lineup of media classes I'll be taking. All the while, I'm enjoying myself on YouTube and several other online communities in hopes to meet new people. Listen, that's great and all -- seriously, I love all those things. But that's just it . . . that's what I'm living for. The things of this world won't last; however, that's what I appear to be most interested in.

This is where Kakakuk stepped in. Having four weeks to simply focus on one thing and one thing alone was a satisfying relief for me. It was like a timeout during a hectic, fast-paced game that resembles my life. The only thing I had to worry about at kamp was serving the kids. For four weeks my Facebook status didn't matter. For four weeks I didn't have to worry about making an awesome video in an attempt to get more subs. My academic life was at a pleasant stand-still -- no need to worry about classes, internships, or abroad study programs. My friends back home; they weren't going anywhere; they could wait. Simple.

I want that feeling all the time. I want to get back to a sense of harmony with both God and man -- where everyone around you is working for a common goal. In our situation at kamp, it was caring for the campers. Is it not possible for us to achieve this in the "real" world beyond a Christian sports camp and a private Christian college? Should I just deactivate all my online accounts and move up north to the Yukon -- away from everyone?

I can't answer these questions. I want these to happen, but I know today's culture and society constantly pull on us to submit ourselves to something -- something other than God's will. I feel so much like the disciples right now. "Who then can be saved?" Luckily, I've already answered that question by citing the verse. Convenient, yes, but it's much harder to live these things out than to simply wear the façade.

Agh, I'm digging a hole here it feels like. For those of you who have read this -- thanks. These thoughts have been on my mind for a while now and this may have been the perfect time and place to just let them out. So again, thank you. And yes, advice is gladly appreciated.

Hard Drive Relics: A Look Into Previously Written Stuff

This "story" was written during this past year's J-term -- as the pretext will explain. Much like my current progress with YouTube, my blog ideas are lacking in creativity. Sounds like the perfect time to dust off some old Word documents from last semester.

Before I move on, let me explain what "Luck Ran Out" is. "Luck Ran Out" is me copying the story narrative style found in Frank Miller's Sin City graphic novels. You can totally see what I mean once you start reading. I was in fact planning on using this so called "plot" as a video idea -- but that obviously fell through.

Enough rambling. Read the pretext (or skip the italics; I don't really care) and enjoy!!

It's J-term. There's basically nothing to do here during the day besides wish I had brought the Wii back with me from Christmas break. So in honor of being slightly academic during these uneventful days, I've written a short story. This is sadly what happens when you've seen every season of "24" and have grown bored with all the "Bourne Identity" movies, so enjoy.

Episode 1: Luck Ran Out

The smallest, faintest creak of a floorboard. Every nerve in my body ignites. That nasty feeling happens as I force back the lump in my throat: fear. A wise friend once told me that to fear is to not know the future. Then why the tension? Why the white-knuckled grip on that old, vintage six-shooter pistol of my grandfather's that until moments ago was gathering dust in the desk drawer? I've always known what the future held. It's just been a matter of how long I would be able to stay one or two moves ahead of my opponent. I've always known that fate would catch up with me, and tonight it finally has.

A single knock at the door – moments later a second one sounds out even louder. A third knock is replaced by the sound of a loaded shotgun followed by the deafening roar of wood being blown to splinters.

About two inches: the distance between my thumb and the hammer. Thumb back the hammer, you coward. Move your thumb up and load the damn thing.

It's no good. I'm frozen in place as light pours into the room while broken splinters crunch under charging footsteps. I gave it a nice run, didn't I?

Pick and choose your battles; tonight I’ll forfeit. What a sadistic relief…

Minutes later I find myself cuffed and blindfolded being led outside. They keep their talking to a minimum – only whispering when needed. In my mind’s eye, I counted four: two at my side, the other two walking somewhere nearby, undoubtedly scanning the parking lot for any unfortunate passerby. Heaven forbid the other tenants catch a glimpse of one of the residents being dragged off in the middle of the night.

A car door opens and I’m shoved inside. No use in buckling up for safety.

"Now," the voice came from the passenger seat. "are we going to have any trouble tonight, Mister Cantor?" His voice was shrill, cold, and muffled by what I guessed was a ski mask, most likely black with two holes for the eyes.

I didn't have to guess that the cold metal object pressed against my shoulder was a handgun's barrel. They don't play games.

"No."

"Good."

White. Only a fraction of a second of absolute pain and then piercing white light. A semi-truck crashed into the side of my head it felt like. My first pistol-whipping, I suppose. I had no idea someone was sitting next to me. Ouch.

The engine started up. I heard the driver curse about Harold getting blood on the seats. Something wet ran down my forehead and across my blindfold. I guess that would be my fault.

"Harold! He's not out!"

The man who hit me exhaled, clearly aggravated.

"Wait! Don't hit him again!" The driver almost sounded concerned. "With your luck, you'll send the poor bastard into a comma."

"Can't have that now, can we?" came a rather slow, almost gentle, voice.

A woman? There's a fourth person in the car?

"Ugh, he's in for one hell of a road trip," said Harold. "There's a first aid under the seat. Em, clean him up, would ya?

"Don't use names!"

"Hell, he already knows my name's Harold. Rob said it a minute ago!"

"Everyone! Shut up!" The driver -- Rob -- was angry.

The woman -- Em, or Emily, I'm guessing -- leaned in close to my ear and whispered. "The man riding shotgun is Pierce." She giggled.

"Seriously? Wow." Pierce didn't enjoy the humor.

The car shifted out of park. rolled forward, turned, accelerated, and turned again. We were on Guffin heading north.

To be continued...

"But my diary is in Berlin..."

Okay. I'm officially a nerd.

No, I don't have a WOW account or a Level 50-something Paladin Knight -- but I just now realized (today of all days) that there is plenty (PLENTY) in my life that is nerd-ish.

Instead of teaching myself to play "popular" songs on the piano, I taught myself to play that slow, sad melody from "LOST" that's played whenever someone important dies (i.e. Charli-what?!? OMG SPOILERZ)...Why? Because I get emotional sometimes and I like it.

I play FINAL FANTASY Tactics A2, like, everyday...Why? Because I'm trying to get a vierra summoner with the red magick Doublecast spell. Pure pwnage.

I impersonate Sean Connery from "The Last Crusade" for the sole reason of wanting to say, "But my diary is in Berlin..." Why? Um, not quite sure on this one actually...

I still think Natalie Portman in "Attack of the Clones" is...um, how to say -- attractive? Why? Because I've always had a thing for the royalty turned warrior thing. Remember the arena scene? I do.

And worst of all, I don't follow college sports...no, I'm serious -- I don't watch them.

"You truly are incorruptible..."

This marks my second post that uses a Joker quote in the title.

Yes, I've been able to see "The Dark Knight" since I've been in Branson...twice. That's right, I saw the movie twice. I don't know what else to say right now besides Heath Ledger is a acting god and that the movie is currently occupying the number one seat on my favorite movie list. Now that's an accomplishment -- trust me.

That is all.

Thurday August 7, 2008; with one week left to go

Well, it's about 10:49 on a Thursday night and I'm sitting at the lobby computer at a Best Western in Branson, MO. Tonight marks the first time in three weeks that I've had "real" internet access. All other attempts to get online have been in vain due to the strict staff policies of Kanakuk Kamps. However, I'm now on my night off. I've eaten some "real" food (Chipotle to be exact) and am getting ready for a refreshing night of air conditioning and a mattress that's over 3 inches thick. Absolute heaven.

As I've previously mentioned, I'm in Branson working at a Christian sports camp this month. I've got about a billion things to talk about -- but sadly computer access in the lobby is limited to 30 minutes and there appears to be a young girl here who wishes to check on her Webkinz. Anyways, I've got plenty to talk about in the comming weeks.

I'll be arriving back home sometime on the 12th of August...that is if I can figure out this Greyhound bus situation. That's right, I didn't drive myself from Indy to Branson like I originally planned. I instead took a Greyhound bus. Worst experience ever. EVER.

Let's move on.

Kamp has been great -- truly great. And that's not a typo -- Kanakuk replaces every word that starts with a "C" with a big 'ol "K". So, instead of being a counselor, I'm actually a kounselor. Instead of residing in Cabin 8, I'm really living in Kabin 8.

Anyways, lets move on with a more serious tone. I've learned a lot since I've been here -- and most of the insights I've gained have been through the kids. I've talked with two brothers from Cairo, Egypt who are probably the funniest people I've met. I've had a tear-jerking conversation with a boy named Caegan who fears for the eternal safety of his deaf and mentally handicapped older sister. He told me he prays every night that she'll have a new, restored body in Heaven. And this guy's 10 years old. Can you believe that?

Well, that's all I really have time for tonight. I wish I could go into detail like I usually do, but that'll have to wait.