New Years

I figured I should try and write something to end the year/decade.

The 00's decade seemed to pass by really fast - like, really fast. Ten years ago, I remember being 11 and sitting in my grandmother's basement watching the countdown to the "new millennium." Like most people, my family knew the "Year 2000" computer bug wasn't real - but I remember being afraid that we would be sent back into the Stone Age at the stroke of midnight.

It's interesting to look back on that stuff now.

-B

Christmas Idealist

Being in school until the week before Christmas has it's ups and downs - but mostly downs. This is a post about one of those "downs."

There once was a time when holiday shopping felt magical (for lack of a better term). For me, it always seems like Christmas is "happening" wherever there are green wreaths, tress, and colored lights - and what better place to experience that than at the mall or at your local "everything store" (Walmart, Target). I was the type of kid growing up who seemingly worshiped the artificial tree in our family room - not for the presents and gifts - but rather the symbol the tree represented. Without sounding lofty or whatever, I'll admit that I really am hung up on the traditional Christmas experience. I'll even brave our city mall with only a few shopping days left to catch a glimpse of the so-called "Holy Ghost of Christmas."

I can't put my finger on it, but I like to think this season has an aura to it - an artificial glow put off by colored lights, green garland, and my grandmother's Christmas punch.

There's me being an idealist again...

Anyways, Merry Christmas.

-B

Late night traffic

Kinda feels like I left school "uncompleted" this semester. I spent most of my last day on campus running around like a mad person trying to get two days worth of work done in one afternoon.

I like to think of myself as a "pretty chill bro," but December totally has ruined that for me.

There came a time about 5 o'clock where I just gave up and decided to see how my roommate was getting by. He spent most of the past week slaving over his woodcuts and metal etchings. Crazy art majors. East of Chicago Pizza was our destination - but three other people ended up joining us, two of whom were girls. What was going to be a chill night of pizza and cinnamon bread turned into a night of me watching my mouth so not to offend the lady types. Seriously, I say stupid stuff.

It took me forever to get on the road. Too much stuff to see through. It felt great to finally get on the highway and set the cruise to a hair above 70. Leaving late at night means light traffic - and I love open roads at night, especially heading towards Indy. I like it how everything is so open but you can't really see it. You just gotta assume there are cornfields out there.

I got home before midnight - which was the goal. I was reminded of just how "bare" my room is. Right before fall semester started, I repainted it. The north wall is brown and the other three are green. I like it, but it just seems like it would be a sin to put something up on still freshly painted walls. But I'm glad the smell of paint is gone.

I got semi-stoked that my Bon Iver t-shirt came in the mail. I wore it today.

I slept 'til 11, which felt odd. I think I've brainwashed myself into thinking sleeping-in displays bad character. This is probably because of several weeks of early mornings.

Didn't do much today besides chill at home - but I did run a couple errands and visit my high school. The moment I stepped on the campus I realized just how much it's changed and not changed in the same respect. First thing: You can't just "visit" the school anymore. I swear, they are so paranoid at public schools. They actually installed an intercom with a fish-eye camera on the main door. I forgot I went to school at Jabba the Hutt's palace.

"Hello, can I help you?"
"Um, yeah. I'm a Center Grove graduate. I was wondering if I could visit Mr. Pratt if that's -"
"No. You can't do that. He's teaching a class now."

Maybe I've gotten so used to living in a "totally safe" college town that I forgot that most high school students are "mad dangerous." It just seems like these school board people are sacrificing trust for safety these days. I "sneaked" into the school when someone opened the door. So much for security. I said "hi" to my favorite English teacher (who didn't remember my name) and later dropped in on Mr. Pratt - my gay choir director. He seems to be doing fine; his choir still dominating the show choir scene. Last I heard he called it off with his boyfriend. I also bumped into my old theater director, who I learned is retiring this year. She is old, so that makes sense. I've been under the impression she's also a lesbian. I think it's a performing arts thing these days...but they're good people and I enjoy keeping in contact if I can.

After visiting school I dropped off my friend's electric bass at his house and called it a day. Watched a movie with the family and ate cheese cake. I guess it's good to be back.

-B

Printmaking Documentary

Printmaking from Brent Clouse on Vimeo.

RE//MIX

A very rough mash-up I made:

Justice vs. Rick Ross

It's official: Rick Ross' "Hustlin'" can be mixed into any song.

-B

Fats Waller

Why would I want to write a script when I can make a woodcut of one of jazz's greatest musicians?

-B

FFFFOUND!

I ffffound this new website called "FFFFOUND!" It's kinda like the elitist's Flickr account. You can't simply sign up to join - you gotta be "invited" by a user. So far I've ffffound no way to be invited.

I like this idea. You don't have all the trash that's associated with big 'ol public sites like Flickr and YouTube. I fee like FFFFOUND! is trying to make the internet great again.

Here's a few pictures I ffffound:


They seem to have a good sense of humor on this site.


Text art also seems to be a trend here.


The obsession with "square" Holga photos is really noticeable. Kinda wish I would have asked for a cheap, plastic camera for Christmas.


Speaking of Christmas, there seems to be a reoccurring "multi-colored lights" motif. I think this is a metaphor for true "indie" love - or perhaps overpriced jeans. I really doubt there are many 20-something year olds out there who woudn't want to experience what this lovely couple is enjoying.

-B

Christmas just got real

This is the best Christmas song covered in the best possible way.

This made my night.

This is Christmas music you can dance to.

-B

doc screening

Tonight I was a star. Tonight I had my 15 minutes of fame. Tonight I showed the documentary film I've spent most of this semester working on.

Tonight I conquered the world.

Time for this smug producer to pat himself on the back. I'm joking - it's not my nature to praise myself with these sort of things. All I can think of now is color correcting and audio sweetening the final cut that's due this Thursday. It's like after it ends - it doesn't really end.

Whenever it does really end, I'll be sure to upload it on Vimeo.

-B

DISSONANCE!

I think I have an attraction to dissonance in my life.

By the way, Thanksgiving was great. I enjoyed it.

GF

I need to find myself an artsy/creative/quirky girlfriend.

I'm producing a documentary film, and this week is go time

Two other students and I are making a short documentary film. I'm the "student film producer" of the project. My two "team members" are both seniors and have proven themselves more qualified for the job, but nonetheless, my professor assigned me this position in order to "challenge my leadership potential" and "hone my untapped producing skills" (These are roughly her exact words).

This week is our major filming week. Our subject is very time sensitive and basically all of the story is happening between this Monday and Friday. Keep in mind I'm not a real "film student" at a real "film school." I'm doing a film program at a liberal arts college that requires me to take several dozen classes that will provide me with a "general education." Needless to say, I'm having to juggle this film project with things I'd rather put on hold. To put it simple, I don't want to bother with any social work and theology courses this semester when I "got bigger fish to fry."

There's a chance I'll go this whole week without touching any of my other classwork -- and I'm fine with that. I don't think I've ever been so excited and intimidated before about a school project. Whoa, that's odd. That's the first time I ever referred to it as a "school project." It's always been something more to me -- as though my future career (somewhat) depends on the success of this film. In reality, this is my first real "film" attempt -- I got to be prepared for some flops. I doubt I'll look back next semester and say, "Gee, that documentary really came out perfectly; there's noting I would change about it." Our post-production period is a little more than a month long, which is totally foolish sounding. On top of that, all three of us are going to final exams and other things due come mid-December. I feel like I have to prepare myself for shortcomings -- and the thought alone makes me cringe.

I need to be praying about this documentary and my role as producer. In a nutshell, the producer's role is to make sure the project gets done right and that everyone is happy. To be honest, I'm terrified about not making everyone happy -- especially my two team members and our film's subject. I also need to pray for the weather to clear up -- most of the film is taking place outside. It's late October in northern Indiana and the rain is halfway frozen. I would give an arm and a leg for the overcast to clear up. I'm afraid to look at the 6-day forecast.

the love/hate thing

This is a blog about blogging and my love/hate relationship with it.

I didn't touch this website for over a month (the end of August up through the beginning of October). When school started up on the first of September, I couldn't find the time or the motivation to write down pithy ideas and random events in my life. And I guess what I'm saying now is I feel the same. I could write about my midterms and projects, but I'd rather not. I could write about how great this semester's been (because it really has been great), but I'd rather pass on doing that as well. I feel like unless I got something very important to say I should probably keep my mouth shut.

To be honest, I don't really like social networking and blogging.

Sufjan's new gig

It’s been nearly three years since the indie-sphere last witnessed a new Sufjan Stevens album, which is equivalent to a several lifetimes in blog years. The poster child of indie folk last completed Songs for Christmas in 2006, and has since been – wait, what has Sufjan been doing all this time?

Looks like Michigan’s own singer-songwriter has been keeping himself busy despite a standstill of new material. His new gig: experimental filmmaking – with a strong emphasis on experimental. It takes a truly brilliant mind to find a connection between the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway and the hula-hoop, but leave it to Sufjan to deliver. Orchestrating a cinematic suite about twelve miles of urban roadway and a plastic ring sounds almost normal given his past musical accomplishments. Nonetheless, on October 20, 2009, Sufjan Stevens will present The BQE, a double-formatted CD/DVD album featuring the soundtrack and original 16mm/8mm film. And yes, you read that correctly – it was made with film film, because digital clearly isn’t “indie” enough anymore.


(I'm not really sure how I feel about this album art.)

In essence, The BQE is an elaborate “do-it-yourself” home movie made by Stevens and cinematographer Reuben Kleiner. If you were hoping for another Illinoise-esque album, this could be some disappointing news for you. Originally recorded over two years ago, the film’s soundtrack is without lyrics and features both a wind and brass ensemble. Think orchestra – not banjo. The music of The BQE mirrors the symphonic scope of “Majesty, Snowbird,” the theme song for Sufjan’s 2006 tour; expect plenty of cymbal crashes, horns, and timpani. The trailer shows the film being presented in three simultaneous split-screens – the end result being a panoramic montage of New York’s “ugliest landmark” – The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. How the hula hoop fits in with all this is still a conundrum. Apparently the film’s protagonists are three cheerleader-like superheroes who use hula hoops to combat the “totalitarian social architecture” of one “Captain Moses” (after the late Robert Moses, the architect behind the expressway). If anything, this novelty film is going to be major eye candy for fans, keeping in tradition with the quirky humor you’d expect from Sufjan. Unfortunately, the casual moviegoer might give you a skeptical look if they stumbled across you watching this during open house hours.

As with the Songs for Christmas album, The BQE is definitely something fans will want to buy at their neighborhood music store (but Wal-Mart works fine) in order to get all the extra goodies. Complete with all its political motifs and “mid-century urban theory,” The BQE album is also packaged with a 3-D View-Master reel (remember those?) and a 40-page comic book written by Mr. Stevens himself – plenty of reasons to pass on downloading the album online.

With such a goody bag on the horizon later this month, it’s only more surprising that Sufjan is releasing a collaborative album a mere two weeks prior. Released on Tuesday, Run Rabbit Run takes the zodiac-inspired tracks of 2001’s Enjoy Your Rabbit and replaces Sufjan’s first electronica attempt with violins and cellos. The Osso String Quartet has re-worked the album, using stringed instruments to replicate the original synthesizers and white noise. The result is something completely removed from the nice, folksy sound of Sufjan Stevens you probably have in your mind. The tracks are frantic and unconventional, but surprisingly elegant. It’s like if a Victorian Mr. Darcy met up with Darth Vader, had a cup of tea, and then battled to the death. The music will easily hit home with those in love with the classical genre. With each track being named after a zodiac animal (ox, monkey, tiger, etc.), the album is saturated with influences of traditional Chinese folk music. See, we can still call it “folk” if we want to.


(Now that's an awesome album cover!)

At its core, Run Rabbit Run isn’t just another Asthmatic Kitty side-project for Sufjan, but rather it’s Osso’s debut album – or dare we say, remix. This sadly only rubs it in that Sufjan isn’t releasing any new material this month. While loyal fans continue to cry out for a proper album, Sufjan seems content holding off his Fifty States Project to work on releases that could sadly go underappreciated.

tweeeeeeeeeeeeet

I hate Twitter was much as any 40-year-old parent would. By all means, please update me via cell phone on all your life's happenings throughout the day -- especially if you're at a Blink 182 concert and Travis Barker's drum solo was totally "tweet" worthy. Teens/tweens that tweet, text (and even"sext") all day long need to have their hands replaced with shoehorns.

that time again

School starts on Tuesday.

I made a video

I took Nyquil for a cold and made this video. I'm kinda out of it.

(where's the video?)

I can't believe this, but YouTube removed the video due to copyright infringement stuff. I refused to look into it. It's probably for the best. Kristen, I'm sorry. I know you liked that video a lot, but from now on I'm not going to take your suggestions seriously.

bleh...

It's 1:01 AM regardless of the time it says this post was made; the timezone isn't set right.

I spent the better part of the evening typing. The rest of my family (plus my sister's boyfriend) watched an Elton John concert on DVD. I would have joined them, but it was loud enough to be heard from my room, and I figured I wasn't missing out on the visual part of the Sir Elton's performance.

School starts in two weeks. I need a hair cut.

Goodnight.

Recent Events

Recent events seem to point to my past catching up to me. I don't feel compelled to explain myself here, but certain discoveries made this past week have helped me realize that some things don't heal as easily as you might originally think. Intertwining lives and the many problems that fall suit make it nearly impossible to be neutral in a situation -- even if you've been under the assumption that you truly are separate. There's always something unexpected that comes along and throws off your consistency. It amazes me that you can unknowingly be setting yourself up for harm when your mind is in the right place. Did something happen along the way? Clearly, full transparency in any matter is risky. This truth seemingly suggests, or even supports, that honesty can be seen more easily in the gray and should rightfully be done so. Protecting oneself from harm is a reaction that would otherwise be constantly practiced, however, perhaps letting potential harm in could bring about significant outcomes. No one can say for sure. Newly made allies are good to have in any circumstance.

The Music Industry Is A-Changin'

Here's what someone from NY Times said:

"A study last year conducted by members of PRS for Music, a nonprofit royalty collection agency, found that of the 13 million songs for sale online last year, 10 million never got a single buyer and 80 percent of all revenue came from about 52,000 songs. That’s less than one percent of the songs."

These statistics seem to speak for themselves. Is this surprising? I don't really think so.

According to Yahoo, these are the top 10 downloaded songs of 2008:

	Song Title	Artist
1	Low	Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain
2	Bleeding Love	Leona Lewis
3	Lollipop	Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major
4	I Kissed a Girl	Katy Perry
5	Viva La Vida	Coldplay
6	Love Song	Sara Bareilles
7	Apologize	Timbaland Featuring OneRepublic
8	No Air	Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown
9	Disturbia	Rihanna
10	4 Minutes	Madonna Featuring Justin Timberlake

Did you download any of these songs this past year? Did you pay for them (via iTunes) if you did? I own two of the above songs, and to be honest, I didn't pay for them.

The way I see it is this: The MP3 did for the CD what JPEGs did for photographic film.

Hear me out -- if you own a digital camera, you're probably not inclined to spend much of your hard-earned money on 35 mm Kodak film or cheap disposable cameras. If you're into photography and still use stock film, good for you. The noble art of photography is sadly becoming a hobby anyone with a Nikon Coolpix camera and a pirated copy of Photoshop Elements can enjoy -- but that's besides the point. If you're an average picture-taker, you're not buying film and getting it developed at the pharmacy anymore. You're instead uploading pictures straight off your camera or memory card. The bottom line is this: you price you pay to enjoy taking pictures begins and ends when you purchase your camera and memory card from Best Buy. And from the looks of it, music is heading in the same direction.

When the music CD magically one day copied itself into a completely digital format, the industry changed. Who knows? The MP3 may have been the coup de grace that would lead to the music industry's foreseen demise. I personally see little reason to pay money to enjoy MP3s. If I'm a loyal fan of a particular artist, I'm going to support them and buy their physical album (as in one of those square cases with the disk inside). Otherwise, I'd rather just get the MP3 from someone else...

I own a computer and pay for a wireless connection (most of the time), so I'm tempted to use that as my musical "digital camera" to capture the songs and albums I like without "paying for the film."

Is that bad?



Anyways, here's a good 'ol timeless song that tends to make most people think about change and whatnot. Should we try to re-envision the way we buy, share, and create music?

No more films

"There are no more films for you guys to watch. That part of your life is over; and there was much rejoicing!"

Those are the exact words of my boss today at work.

Yep, it's true -- I have no more films to screen for my summer internship. Everything has either been given the rejection boot or has been passed unto "the high powers" who ultimately decide what gets into the festival this fall.

What a sense of accomplishment -- really. That's all I wanted to say.

-Brent

...they're perfectly aligned.

You've heard it. I've heard it. And even your parents probably have heard it (via 'Garden State' or UPS and M&Ms commercials).

I think everyone loves this song.

I recently started using Pandora again to listen to music. For the past several months I've been trying out Last.fm instead, partially because streaming anything from my school's internet is a major chore. But now that I'm home, I've been able to use Pandora like the good 'ol days. Just the other day I made a new "station" on Pandora using my friend's favorite artists. It was only a little while before Iron and Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights" popped up.

I guess I've never formally listened to this version of the song before then. Apparently it was in 'Garden State' -- the one movie even my professors recognize as a "defining film of this generation." And I recently learned a M&Ms commercial used it a few years back as well. The song's original version, released by The Postal Service in 2003, is featured in those 'whiteboard' UPS ads and is much more 'electronic' than Iron and Wine's whispery rendition.

People know this song. People somehow relate to this song, and I guess that's what this post is about.

The lyrics of the song never really meant anything to me until I heard the Iron and Wine cover. I guess all it takes is a more chill version of a song to make things really click. Before, all I could think about was how catchy the beat was, especially the electronic loop at the beginning.

So what's this all mean? Did I suddenly find another song to add to my favorites? I don't know what it is, but something about Iron and Wine's cover makes me want to have it played at my wedding (I feel like a girl for saying that). Maybe my dream of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro will someday come true and I can listen to "Such Great Heights" on my iPod at the summit as I look to the horizon and contemplate the vastness of God's creation.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure we've been made into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces made out of clay.

-Brent

UpDates (pt. deux)

Here's what's up:

• Repainted my room; "mother nature" green and "toffee crunch" brown are in, sky blue is out.

• Possible new wall decor? (non-Star Wars themed [meaning no Natalie posters])

• Online class remains unfinished. I'm concerned.

• Internship is winding down (I think?). Need to cash in paychecks.

• Social calendar remains empty; spent some time today observing people in a S'bucks parking lot whilst drinking an Abe Lincoln's worth of coffee.

-Brent

Re-Envisioning my 'Personal Brand'

It looks like my summer has reached the frightening halfway point -- the time when you look at the calendar and think, "Well, at least I got a month and a half or so left until classes start..."

This is definitely one of those times when you look back at that 'do-to' list you made at the end of May. Yeah...I got plenty left to do it seems.



It sounds crazy, but one of the tasks I'm determined to do before September rolls around is finish painting "Starry Night" on a pair of Keds. It's a long story, but I'll admit they are for a girl -- a girl who is dating another guy. So yeah, there really isn't anything 'fun' about this little side story.

In fact, the only reason I'm painting these shoes for my girl (space) friend is because she kindly asked me to after viewing a pic of my 'Genesis Shoes' on Facebook.



Yeah, I painted these last summer. It was my 'artsy' summer project. I try to be humble about them, but it's kinda hard. You can't really wear the Sistine Chapel on your shoes and not expect to come off as a douche.

This happens to be a perfect segue into today's blog post -- sorry it took longer than most. Last summer was the proverbial 'summer-after-freshman-year' when I tried to 're-define' my personal brand -- the socio-cultural label I would want to be labeled with if I wanted to be labeled in the first place. In pre-college terms, this means your 'stereotype.' What you find outside the halls of your white-suburban high school is that there are exponentially more 'labels' than you thought. You find that music taste defines you more than your father's salary. You learn that understanding 'fashion' doesn't just mean printing "AM. EAGLE" on your chest in block letters. Your individual body type actually requires you to understand how certain clothing looks on you. If your fare-skined like me, don't you dare wear orange -- ever.

So, last summer I tried to define my personal brand by attempting to be artsy. The only real art classes I've ever taken have always involved Adobe software -- never paint brushes or canvas, and God forbid I touch clay. Even in high school I managed to take "Visual Communications" (a.k.a. entry-level Photoshop) without the pesky "Drawing 1" prerequisite.



Besides, these icons just look more fun. Why would you ever want to touch a real paint brush when you can digitally airbrush? Well, believe it or not, I wanted to break the norm I had set for myself and 'try something new.' The end product was a pair of $10 Wal-Mart canvas shoes with the hands of God and Adam painted on them (via my sister's old acyclic paint collection). It was an amazing feeling of accomplishment to step back and marvel at these shoes -- I felt artsy and hip and relevant for once! It was probably the only thing I did during my summer that was at least 80% 'bloggable.' All that other stuff is...well, me bitching probably.

In retrospect, I really doubt painting a single pair of cool shoes and attempting to paint a second pair for my girl (space) friend really defines who I want to be socio-culturally. Instead, I found myself tearing up watching a Geico commercial.



I just want to 'be myself' sometimes.

-Brent

Billy Mays

I was rather upset when I read that Billy Mays passed away last Sunday.



I feel like we've lost a truly amazing person.

Workout Plan

Go outside and start running with your iPod on. Listen to the Girl Talk album "Feed the Animals" and don't stop running until you hear the song end.

Guaranteed fitness.

Grizzly Bear @ Buskirk-Chumley Theater 6/9/09

Last week I went to a concert in Bloomington, IN.


I didn't actually take this picture -- my friend Eliza did. You can't see, but I'm standing next to her.




But I did take these two pictures. I was using my sister's "crappy" camera and clearly didn't have the right setting on. At least the foreground is in focus. All my pics turned out like this. Dang.

Anyways, I enjoyed the concert a lot. It marked the first concert I'd been to this year that wasn't held in the student union at my school. More importantly, this concert marked the first time (that I can remember at least) that I legitimately "flew solo" via road trip. Venturing to B-Town and finding the theater was completely all my doing. Dang, I'm independent now, aren't I? I guess -- but it's really a kinda pitiful situation. I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go with me before the online tickets were sold out! I was lucky I got mine when I did; they sold out shortly after I heard.

Lots of lip/nose rings and forearm tattoos at this concert -- all of which are things I've contemplated getting this semester. No, seriously -- I have. Just thought I'd throw that out there...

Peace.

-Brent

Lack of motivation

The title says it all.

It's summer and I simply want to chill 24/7 until September rolls around. In between reminding myself I have an internship and an online class to worry about, I frequently dwell on how I really want to spend my summer months.




Have you ever wanted to kick around with Shia Leboeuf, wear over-sized Hawaiian shirts, and drive your sister crazy all summer long (via remote-controlled gadgets)?



Or go on an influential/authentic "human journey" with your family and learn an important life lesson (via tropical vacation)?



Or maybe do something so "epic" and "outta-this-world" during your summer that 40 years from now you're retelling your stories in a Dos Equis commercial...


He probably told Optimus Prime to "stay thirsty".

I'm going to live my summer the way Lois Stevens would have -- and maybe go see Transformers.

Just went uninvited to an old friend's 21st bday party

...and it was disappointing.



Somewhere between seeing a dude out cold on a sofa and having to remind myself for the third time to divert my eyes from a ringing iPhone lodged securely between a pair of breasts did I realize the "post-highschool/summer-home-from-college" party scene is about the worst experience ever. Especially when you never plan on drinking.

I turned 21 a month and a half ago. We went to a Thai restaurant and I drank water since it's free. Overall, my big "two-one" celebration lasted 2 hours. This girl's party had been going on for four days -- four days someone told me. But she's the type of girl that fits that bill -- prancing around her parent's basement in heels, white strapless dress and a plastic tiara. To be honest, she looked horrid -- clearly heavier than the last I saw her (which was graduation perhaps?) and practically spilling out the top of her dress. I slid past one of her "besties" as I went down the basement stairs -- her appearance almost identical to the birthday girl's (minus the tiara).

"Whoa...awkward. Did not expect you see you here."

She gave me one of those judgemental looks as though she just tasted something sour with her eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Good to see you too."

Amidst the cheap beer and even cheaper vodka I found a few familiar faces. But no one has changed. Even the damn playlist hasn't changed -- her iHome was still playing the same jams from two years ago (a bunch of old T-Pain and Akon songs -- reminded me of prom night 'o7 ).

"I don't belong here," I told myself.

I've gotten use to the reality of post-highschool summers. I chose not to go to the state university everyone from my high school goes to; I instead chose a small private college up north and I've not regretted my decision once. The friendships they have among themselves look pitiful. They don't look happy. They just look...wasted.

A very good short film

I usually make really big deals about things I like. If I come across something "noteworthy" on the internet, I don't hesitate to send around the link to all my friends.

Anyways, my summer job is to evaluate films submitted to a locale film festival and I'm pretty sure I stumbled across a winner today...

That's Magic! from Brandon McCormick on Vimeo.

I think I forgot how much I love musicals. But seriously, this short film is top notch.

I think this will be my fourth time watching it today.

Naturally Modern (via the picture below)

Here's the best part of my day...

A fairly attractive girl in her early twenties asked me today in the Fossil store if I could get a watch out of the case for her. I could tell she was very embarrassed when I told her I didn't work there. Her mom was with her and she proceeded to say that I'd "fit the job perfectly" and that I should "be an employee".


I guess I kinda look like this guy?

I could tell that the girl felt like a moron. She apologized and blushed and hurried off with her mother to find a real employee. Only after did I realize I should have thanked her -- her embarrassment happened to be the most encouraging moment of the day. Apparently I could/should work at Fossil and sport blazers and graphic tees all day. I find this amusing because I applied to work there a couple years ago (with two of my friends as references) only to get shot down.

Yes, it's a lame story. Not much happens to me over the summer, so I consider this noteworthy.

-Brent

Should I go see The Decemberists?

That's right. On August 8th they're coming to Indy. And for less than $30, I can experience the folkish-indie band most white suburban "twenty-somethings" swoon over. I know I do. For sure.

Believe it or not, Indianapolis sees very few influential/authentic/noteworthy bands. Most of the time we see bands that are:

1) Utterly mainstream -- meaning you'll never feel special after the concert ends because everyone who listens to music probably sees them (i.e. Blue Man Group, John Mayer, or any rap artist except Jay-Z)

2) Awful -- like real bad (i.e. fake Coldplay and U2 bands)

3) Not even bands -- they're more like "shows" (most venues in Indy sell out to musicals that everyone's already seen twice in their life)

I guess I'm asking if I should go see The Decemberists in concert because it appears that I have no reason not to go. The tickets are relatively cheap (and not sold out yet, I think). But a good friend of mine who I trust musically with my life recently put down The Decemberists, saying:

"The only people who listen to The Decemberists are white suburban kids who think Irish-inspired shanties about gypsies are meaningful."

Whoa. Deep stuff. I had to back away and think about that one when he said it. I sometimes get in the habit of believeing everything he says regarding music taste, but something told me he was (possibly) right. This whole classy, hip 'n humble indie culture The Decemberists try to define with their music doesn't really do much for me. Going to their concert would only mean I'll walk away proud that I chose them over a Coldplay concert (I recently declined an offer due to lame "lawn" steats). But don't get me wrong -- I enjoy their music! If I decide to go (granted I find someone to bring along), I'll for sure have a blast.

I guess I've made up my mind, huh? Well, like I said, I need someone to tag along with me. I'm not sure I feel strong enough to be surrounded by all those "indie kids" all by my lonesome.

Possible date invite for a lucky lady?

The past 24 hours of my life have been a Wes Anderson film

And by that, I mean Wednesday evening up through Thursday evening.



Um...yes. Where to begin? This is a difficult process for a number of reasons. I feel like I need to explain about 9 months of character "back story" for this to make the tinniest bit of sense. I guess I'm referring to Wes Anderson films because this past day has been a definite "human journey" for me. In fact, I would dare to say May 13-14, 2009 has been one of the most defining moments of this year. I recently saw "The Darjeeling Limited" -- and certain images of Adrian Brody, Owen Wilson, and that other guy were definitely flashing across my mind today. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but was kinda sad at the end because the three brothers ended up in the same situation they started in -- the only difference is they have a better attitude about it. Well, I haven't reached that part yet -- that is if this "journey" follows a similar script. But it's life -- so you can bet it won't.

Well, I guess the best thing to do is just to chronologically go through everything.

Wednesday started off fine, but sadly my grandfather had passed away from Alzheimer's on Monday. I heard the news that things weren't looking good late last week. My father told me he would be surprised to see him make it through the next week. Thus said, we were as prepared as you can be for a death in the family. His battle with Alzheimer's had been hard on all of us, so in many ways, this was a release for everyone. He lived a long and happy life, but unfortunately it was cut short by this disease.

So the funeral was scheduled for Thursday -- the day I was suppose to give my speech to my interpersonal communication class. Thankfully, my professor isn't actually a professor -- she's a guidance counselor. That said, I'm pretty sure she thought I came into her office seeking comfort or even a shoulder to cry on. She has the reputation of being a very "motherly" professor/counselor and was totally fine with letting me reschedule my speech.

Now back to Wednesday. On Wednesdays I have an evening class that meets once a week. Because of that, we meet for a grand total of 3 hours every Wednesday night from 6-9. It would be the longest 3 hours of my week if it wasn't my favorite class. Layout and Design -- the closest I'll probably ever get to being a graphic design artist. Early in the week I had heard news of a little shin-dig that was going down off-campus at a friend's house -- just a small (and free) concert with a couple bands playing. I figured I'd go after class even though Wednesday night was the night I had to drive back home for Thursday's funeral. Better yet, a girl I had gotten to know decently well over our spring break missions trip had mentioned to me she wanted to go. I called her before class asking if she wanted a ride. She didn't -- she was getting a ride with some girlfriends. Okay -- fair enough, but about half-way through class my phone buzzes -- it's her and she got left behind by her friends. Sweet.


Sidenote: I use to have the biggest thing for Natalie Portman. Not gonna lie, I kinda wish I was in some exotic locale with her. With a mustache too...

The only problem is I'm still in class and that concert starts soon. But lo and behold, I find out my friend's band is playing at the concert and two of the members happen to be in my class. The concert obviously can't start until they get there. And right as I'm processing all this information, our prof lets class out early. It was almost as if God decided on a whim to let everything fall into place at the last minute. My two buddies tell me their band is playing in about 40 minutes -- plenty of time to call her up, offer her a ride, and get over there.

Things continued to fall into place -- almost in a surreal, movie script way. Seriously, if I was to meet Bill Murry along the way, I wouldn't have been surprised. She still wanted to go to the concert and was totally down with me giving her a ride. And all the while, my thoughts were not on the long drive ahead of me to get back home and definitely not on tomorrow's funeral. Screw it -- tonight I'm partying. Sorrow and grief would be met with tomorrow.

This house concert/dance party was rad in every sense of the word. I truly wish there were more of these in high school instead of those worthless basement snuggle-fests.

(This story is going to conclude in another post, so stay tuned.)

UpDates

Here's a quick recap of what's going on...

This past Wednesday, my dorm wing probably had the only "cool party" we've had this semester. It's called Tonight We Ride -- and it's an annual night devoted to America's biking culture (which surprisingly none of us are truly involved with). Basically all of us wear leather and drink rootbeer all night long.

I'm one of two guys actually smiling in this picture. Y'all took this too seriously.

Somehow I was put in charge of advertising for this shin-dig and was able to put my sick Adobe skillz to the test. Big 'ol text -- always a great design element.

Well, the good news is that troublesome audio project finally got finished. Can't wait to hear back from my prof about this one...

Anyways, the summer is almost here. Good luck not checking out of school early. All I want to do is get home and enjoy what may be the best summer ever -- and that's not an exaggeration. Things are looking up. My internship starts the week I get back and I couldn't be more excited.

Everyday In My Heart & Time to Pretend: My Thoughtful Song(s) of the Week

Okay. Check out the linkage bellow.

Dan Zimmerman on Daytrotter.com

Listen to (or better yet, download) his first song on the right sidebar. It's on Daytrotter, so it's free. You have no reason NOT to listen to it.

Well, this guy's old. He's one of the few artists on Daytrotter whose caricature (shown below) doesn't include the staple bushy beard, big-rimmed glasses, long hair (in fact, he's balding) or a plaid shirt a la the Bon Iver crew. He's the type of old guy I'd like to be when I grow up.



Anyways, this song's great. It "spoke to me" for some reason. Something about "everyday here with you; everyday far apart." I'm gonna take a stab at it and say it's a metaphorical statement. Something about unatainable love, lost love, or both. And using color allusions makes me think of a water color paiting -- which I thought was cool. Kinda brings a youthful perspective to the song.

The song "retroactively" made me think of a MGMT song...

Time to Pretend



Without getting too "philosophical", I think there's a profound connection between these two songs.

Laundry and Internships

I'm waiting for the dryer to finish my laundry and I have class in less than twenty minutes. And all the while, I'm checking my email every 5 minutes to see if I've gotten my summer internship at a film festival in Indy. I don't think I've been this anxious in a really long time. To make things worse, we've got nasty Seattle weather here, so nothing seems uplifting about today -- yet.

I'm really trying to stay optimistic.

. . .

I was accepted for my internship!! I got a call around 4 this afternoon and they want me for the film internship position!!

Tacobel Canon: My Influential Song of the Week

I've been raiding my neighbor's iTunes for about 3 weeks now. His hard drive seriously has everything I could ever want on it -- and since he's such a rad guy, he's all for a quick Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V maneuver between music libraries.

Listen to this: "Tacobel Canon" by Ratatat



I seriously kept this song on repeat for a good hour. If I could make legitimate music and not just crappy Garage Band beats, I'd make stuff like this. Musically, this is great stuff.

My neighbor Matt has the "Reason" program loaded on his labtop -- which is like a glorified Garage Band on steroids. Pretty much if you understand a lick of music theory and can master the program, you're on your way making "good" music. We've been fiddling around with Reason and a little midi keyboard these past couple months and have cranked out two really good beats -- both of which Matt has written flat-out absurd lyrics to (with a few verses by me just to keep this a collab project). One of our "rap" songs simply glorifies the obese female population in America -- a song appropriatly labeled "Fatties". Somehow I'm getting the "Lonely Island" taste in my mouth. Comedy-rap has its limits, and those guys seem to get pretty close to it.

But I can't lie, "I'm On a Boat" made me laugh really, really hard.

I guess my preference would be to make "less lyrical" music a la Ratatat -- none of that rambuncious "rap" stuff that's only good for club-grinding and/or a few good laughs.

Well, I hope "Tacobel Canon" provided the right vibe for this blog post.

Need a new name other than "Blog Berth"

For some dumb reason, I originally named my blog "The Post-it Note Post". Needless to say, I quickly learned that "Post-it Note Post" is about as cool as a trip to the doctor when you're five -- which isn't.

A while later, I turned to dictionary.com and sought inspiration from the word of the day, which happened to be "berth" -- as in, "Where does the Black Pearl make berth?"



So now my blog is named "Blog Berth". I don't know -- it kinda sounds catchy, right? If anyone can help me think of a better name, I'll give you a legitimate prize that will blow your mind and make you reevaluate your life.

Game on.

I turn 21 in less than two weeks

It's true -- I'm officially going to be a full-blown adult on May 1, 2009.

I'm having some difficulty figuring out what this means -- this "growing up" that I'm finally experiencing. Part of me finds it hilarious to think that if I was living a couple hundred years ago I would already be self-efficient with a job I would do for the rest of my life and probably be married with children. But instead, somewhere along the road America fell in love with the concept of "further education" beyond that of high school. All this means is kids these days grow up slower -- at least I feel that way.

Unlike Simba, I didn't grow up during a 3 minute montage...

Even at 20, I feel almost the same as I did when I became an official teenager over 7 years ago. I'm still completely reliant on my parents for practically everything. Yes, I have a nice sum of money in a savings account from three summers of working minimum wage jobs, but otherwise, I have nothing that isn't my parent's. They are putting me through school. I share a car with my older sister that they bought brand new. For all intents and purposes, I'm not "grown-up".

So what is being "grown-up" all about? Having a career and being able to support yourself? That's how I've always viewed it. Not living in your parents' house probably helps, too. But honestly, most college sophomores and juniors are still going to live at home until they graduate. Ehh -- I don't know; maybe I sometimes hate the idea that I've been so well provided for all my life. I've literally had everything I've ever needed given to me since day one. Don't get me wrong -- I'm amazingly grateful for everything I've been blessed with; however, sometimes I wish I had it "rough" growing up so I'd be more hardened now. Part of me also hates the fact that I probably couldn't make it on my own if it weren't for my parents. Again, I'm so grateful for them -- but I've never had to really "fend for myself" in the "real world". When will that be? Will I even be ready for it when it happens?

Do you ever feel like you're always going to be "that teen" even when you're in your twenties? It's like no matter how old you get, you're still stuck in the rut of being Michael Sera in another indie-venture movie a la Juno or Nick and Nora's.

Another thing that I believe contributes to my inability to "grow up" is my physical stature. I recently had someone tell me I look as though I could still be in high school (for an example, see the above picture of Michael Sera). Okay -- so I'm not tall. Somewhere around 5'8 if I'm being generous. My build is -- well, scrawny. I feel proportionate, but for being almost 21 years old, I'm definitely "younger" looking. My facial hair will never be that super-convenient shade of black that never fails to declare advanced masculinity. Instead, it will probably stay redish-brown my whole life. I'm just wishing the stuff would grow in thicker -- all I have now is a wimpy stripe from sideburn to sideburn and some straggly "throat hair" that subsequently helps me break out with acne around my neck. Acne? I'm not a teenager! This shouldn't be a problem!

Ahh -- sometimes I wish I could sneak a glimpse of myself at 30 and see if I made it through okay. I hope I don't resemble my old manager from a summer job two years ago: receding hairline, pale skin, buggy eyes, crooked nose, anime t- shirt, and a molester-stache.

Given the above descriptions, this is what the crystal ball on Flickr revealed my past manager at Culver's to look like. Nice "Beefy Tee", my good sir.

I guess I'll grow up eventually and look back at all these ideas and be like, "Wow, that was a waste of energy..." Anyways, it's just something to think during those times where I should be doing something constructive towards my future (a.k.a. being overly concerned about finishing sophomore year with a decent GPA -- ugh, don't remind me).

Well that's all I got. I need to finish reading a couple chapters in a communications theory book for my class later this afternoon. See? There's some diligence for you! Alright, peace.

Very Excited

So today I got an email from the place where I trying to get a summer internship. They want to interview me sometime next week -- how great is that!? I couldn't be more excited about this. Today has been a much better day that I originally thought -- first with me getting into all the courses I need for next semester and second getting the email from the internship. I still need to keep on praying that everything works out...

A friendly Easter email response to a spammer

This blog post is an email response I sent to "Michael Lambert" of the "United Nations". The letter he sent me was a crapload of spam -- asking me for personal info and telling me I'm qualified to receive a quarter million dollars on behalf of some government program. To make it worse, this n00b even used a Yahoo email account. Here's what I replied back with:


Dear Mr. Lambert,

First of all, Happy Easter.

I fully appreciate the opportunity you are offering on behalf of the United Nations and Mr. Ki-Moon; however, I must ask you to kindly [knock] off.

Frankly, you are insulting my intelligence by asking me to give personal information to you. Everything about the email you sent me screams fraud -- everything from the spelling errors to the inappropriate use of capitalization. I pity the fool (pardon the Mr. T reference) who actually believes this rubbish. You are not affiliated with the United Nations, nor do you have a legitimate job, that is if scamming people from your Yahoo email account is your primary source of income.

I hope you remember these words I'm about to say to you -- because I'm saying them out of my earnest concern for your well-being:

Stop whatever it is you're doing with these bogus email letters and take a good, hard look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you like what you see? Is the man you see in the mirror someone you are proud of? These are hard times, my friend, and you need to really ask yourself if this is what you want in your life. Take charge of your life and don't settle for less. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." That's what I want of you -- I want you to be strengthened through your faith in Christ and your devotion to live for Him.

Believe me, this is not a spam email. Today is Easter Sunday -- the day of our resurrected Lord Jesus Christ. Do you think it's coincidence that you're reading this? Well, I honestly can't say -- but I do know that Jesus is welcoming you with open arms and that he loves you and always will love you. Know this and believe this.

Dedicate your life to Christ and be saved.

Sincerely,
Brent


Okay, so I'm either a tool or a very dumb evangelist. I don't really care. Whoever that guy is might read the letter and take it to heart. I totally meant what I said -- he needs a good smack in the face. Even if he writes all this off, at least I told him.

Just saw "Slumdog" and got that fuzzy feeling

You've probably heard about it enough by now, but let me reiterate. Yes, "Slumdog Millionaire" is an above average movie. All the praise and hype you've heard about it is true. I'll give it two thumbs up and a high recommendation -- not that my opinion is worth much, but you get the idea.

Let me tell you -- it's so refreshing to see a movie that isn't some type of remake/superhero flick/teenage novel adaptation these days (Star Trek, Wolverine, Twilight -- I'm giving you the stare-down).

See this? This is good filmmaking. Every movie needs to have this shot.
.

But this just looks awkward. Either kill her or make out.


And unless it's these guys, I don't want to see it.


I guess in the end all I'm wanting is an authentic good story. I really do want to watch a movie and get that fuzzy feeling every time -- the kind of feeling you get when Sam shuts the door of his hobbit hole after saying "Well, I'm back."

But money talks and good films walk -- that's what I always say (And what exactly does that mean? I don't really know, but it sounded kinda witty). There's always going to be loads of high-budget films that are simply eye candy and will have you exiting the theater wanting to team up with Optimus Prime or something, but for me that doesn't cut it anymore. I've seen enough explosions and broken concrete in films and would prefer too see a good plot line instead.

Helvetica, ALTs, & Bros -- Hipster Runoff

I've actually been reading "Hipster Runoff" a lot lately. If you're not familiar with the ALT culture that this "culturally relevant" blog defines, you should check it out. It uses Wordpress, so you know it's legit. Kudos to the people who actually learn how to use that crazy thing -- I tried once and failed miserably.


Anyways, back to Hipster Runoff. Yes, it's a blog and it's hilarious, informative, odd, and surprisingly.....relevant. I thank this humble website for helping me define my "personal brand" -- a concept that most of the blogs on HRO seem to be about.


Seriously, it's strange how exact HRO is at nailing what it is to be a "20-Something" in today's wickety-whack culture. I also enjoy the motifs and "memes" HR seems to play off of. Like, everything on the site is written in Helvetica type face. Maybe this is because most people who read the blog are design savvy (maybe?) and respect that Helvetica is the perfect font. Or maybe it's because HRO has a striking resemblance to American Apparel ads...not sure, but it's something to ponder about. It's almost an understood fact that AA has coined the "deep v-neck" t-shirt -- which I also find humorous. It's nice to know I've found a place online that shares my appreciation for AA clothing -- seriously, no one where I'm from seems to like it....maybe I should move to LA or something so I can wear deep v's all year long. Again, something to ponder about.

I'm still here

Yeah, I know it's been a while -- but I've been busy. So give me a break. I can't talk for long, but my blog here popped into my head just now and I figured I'd update it for a change. Wow...I skipped March, didn't I?

Valentine's Day...a day late

I spent my Valentine's Day evening watching Donnie Darko for the first time and feeling very depressed about it. Afterward, I took part in a very awkward three-way conversation that lasted much longer than I would have liked. After that, I went back to my room and ate some Skittles and watched a few of The Lonely Island videos on Youtube -- which are always good for a few laughs. I then went to bed without brushing my teeth and woke up this morning with a really sick-tasting mouth.

Friendships and Other Things

Do you ever really ask yourself what makes a good friend? Do you simply observe what your closest friends are like and consider those traits as "good" friend qualities? And are you a good friend yourself in return?

Ew, vague answers. I hate them. They're like what your high school counselor asks you when you come to her seeking answers to why no one likes you...and this isn't from personal experience -- seriously. So why am I asking? Well, I guess it's because I've never really had a good circle of friends growing up. My parents always warned me during my early school years that I needed to be a friend to get a friend -- sounds pretty simple, huh? However, now that seems like such a wise thing to live by. I think all humans are inately selfish; I think I am one of the worst at times. Lately I've been realiving I haven't been giving some people the time of day. I think that I assume (however would never admit it openly) that whatever conversation, interaction, or relationship I build with someone needs to directly benifit me. Now that is selfish. Ah, it feels terrible!

I guess the reason I bring all this up is because I'm going on a missions trip this spring. We will be working hands-on with the homeless, the mentally handicapped, and just plain unattractive people. I don't want my selfishness to be a problem for us. I would love to throw out the cliche right now that I need to "swallow my pride" -- but I'll refrain. I think I need to seriously reevaluate my priorities right now. It's a new semester and already it feels like spring could be upon us. Things look promising amidst my usual Debby Downer attitude -- now nice! Maybe we'll see some progress during these coming weeks...

Writing Again

So when I was home over the weekend I scavenged some old high school things and came across a goldmine of little treasures. Well, not really -- but kinda. I found a short story I wrote junior year of high school in my Creative Writing class. I totally want to rewrite it and possibly expand on the original plot past the required four pages double-spaced. I think it's a great story with some potential behind it.

So...yeah. That's all I wanted to say.

Change 'O Mind

Well, I think I have to go back on my word. Two posts ago I said I was (possibly) giving up on blogging and vlogging. I guess that statement is only half true. Blogging will continue; however, my days of making dumb YouTube videos has come to a end as far as I know -- but don't hold me to it.

Hmm...so what's new? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

This is about the time where I let out a HUGE sigh of either frustration or just plain 'n simple confusion during the blog process. Alright! I'm just going to let my thoughts spill out...

College Stuff
Winter term is nearing its end. My final is this Wednesday. And after a long weekend back home, I will return to school and start up second semester. I'm actually excited about the spring; most of the classes I'll be taking are centered around my major -- so that's nice. No more general education courses.

The Roommate
My roommate has been gone this past month. He's on what our school calls a "Lighthouse" mission trip. He's been in Paraguay for about 3 weeks now and I can honestly say I've enjoyed living solo in our room. There's been a lot of time to think about things and just relax. I've been able to listen to music in the morning without fear of waking him up -- something I've never had the pleasure of doing this past semester.

Music
Speaking of music, I really need to buy the new Bon Iver EP. He actually played at my school's student union last year -- apparently this was before he achieved his almost mainstream status; tickets were like $4.

Triscuit Stealing
To be honest, I must confess that I ate what was left of my roommate's box of Trisciuts (it was like 3/5 gone anyways). Luckily, the other day I was at the local K-Mart and saw they had basically a 2-for-1 deal on Triscuits, so I bought myself a box and got a second one to replace his. I know, I'm such a saint.

Relationships
And I must recap on a recent set of events that have taken place during my two month holiday hiatus. Lo and behold, this is about relationships! I've sort of been in an "almost together" status with this girl I recently became friends with in November. Thankfully I finally mustered the courage (and balls, yes) to tell her I didn't want a relationship between us. Better to call it off before anything became expected. It's a cliché, but I must admit the burden is lifted. My reasoning? There's kinda someone else. And let me tell you, I've been wresteling with what do to about this little crush of mine for months now. Hey, I'm still working on it. I'll let you know what happens (if anything...). Didn't think I'd get so personal on my blog, did you? Neither did I.

Obama
President Obama has been in office for four days now and I must admit that I haven't gotten used to saying "President Obama". I'm sure the more I hear it the more I'll get accustomed to it. Everytime I log onto Yahoo there's a new news article saying something about a new policy he's starting up. I have my doubts that all these new changes will save our economy and ultimately help our country. But know this, I'm rooting for him all the way. There's nothing I would want more than to be completely corrected on this matter and have my opinion changed. One of my friends said it best: "He now has to prove to America he's not all talk." Pardon the "walk the walk, talk the talk" anaolgy -- I thought I sounded appropriate.

Alright that's all I got.

Patience

Anxious steps to and fro prove nothing but the unknowing
thus you think it adequate to hold a solemn smile
and keep your back from showing

It made sense at the time, the choices you made
to seek that which time deemed right
but now defeated you appear no longer portrayed
thus accepting this one last final fight

Hi!-atus

Yeah, I haven't really been on here much during the past couple of months. Well, I'm still around -- not as much as I used to be...but that's how it goes, I guess. I've kinda given up on the whole "social networking" scene. I've learned that I much more enjoy reading other people's blogs than I do trying to write my own. I mean seriously -- I don't have much to write about. I've made one (1) friend through Youtube and Blogger and that seems to be enough for me. I guess I realized that this is escapism for me -- and I have loads more things to worry about than making vlogs and writing blogs.

Hey, it was fun while it lasted -- and I'm sure over the summer I'll get bored with life and start all over again.