I'm having some difficulty figuring out what this means -- this "growing up" that I'm finally experiencing. Part of me finds it hilarious to think that if I was living a couple hundred years ago I would already be self-efficient with a job I would do for the rest of my life and probably be married with children. But instead, somewhere along the road America fell in love with the concept of "further education" beyond that of high school. All this means is kids these days grow up slower -- at least I feel that way.
Unlike Simba, I didn't grow up during a 3 minute montage...
Even at 20, I feel almost the same as I did when I became an official teenager over 7 years ago. I'm still completely reliant on my parents for practically everything. Yes, I have a nice sum of money in a savings account from three summers of working minimum wage jobs, but otherwise, I have nothing that isn't my parent's. They are putting me through school. I share a car with my older sister that they bought brand new. For all intents and purposes, I'm not "grown-up".
So what is being "grown-up" all about? Having a career and being able to support yourself? That's how I've always viewed it. Not living in your parents' house probably helps, too. But honestly, most college sophomores and juniors are still going to live at home until they graduate. Ehh -- I don't know; maybe I sometimes hate the idea that I've been so well provided for all my life. I've literally had everything I've ever needed given to me since day one. Don't get me wrong -- I'm amazingly grateful for everything I've been blessed with; however, sometimes I wish I had it "rough" growing up so I'd be more hardened now. Part of me also hates the fact that I probably couldn't make it on my own if it weren't for my parents. Again, I'm so grateful for them -- but I've never had to really "fend for myself" in the "real world". When will that be? Will I even be ready for it when it happens?
Do you ever feel like you're always going to be "that teen" even when you're in your twenties? It's like no matter how old you get, you're still stuck in the rut of being Michael Sera in another indie-venture movie a la Juno or Nick and Nora's.
Another thing that I believe contributes to my inability to "grow up" is my physical stature. I recently had someone tell me I look as though I could still be in high school (for an example, see the above picture of Michael Sera). Okay -- so I'm not tall. Somewhere around 5'8 if I'm being generous. My build is -- well, scrawny. I feel proportionate, but for being almost 21 years old, I'm definitely "younger" looking. My facial hair will never be that super-convenient shade of black that never fails to declare advanced masculinity. Instead, it will probably stay redish-brown my whole life. I'm just wishing the stuff would grow in thicker -- all I have now is a wimpy stripe from sideburn to sideburn and some straggly "throat hair" that subsequently helps me break out with acne around my neck. Acne? I'm not a teenager! This shouldn't be a problem!
Ahh -- sometimes I wish I could sneak a glimpse of myself at 30 and see if I made it through okay. I hope I don't resemble my old manager from a summer job two years ago: receding hairline, pale skin, buggy eyes, crooked nose, anime t- shirt, and a molester-stache.
Given the above descriptions, this is what the crystal ball on Flickr revealed my past manager at Culver's to look like. Nice "Beefy Tee", my good sir.
I guess I'll grow up eventually and look back at all these ideas and be like, "Wow, that was a waste of energy..." Anyways, it's just something to think during those times where I should be doing something constructive towards my future (a.k.a. being overly concerned about finishing sophomore year with a decent GPA -- ugh, don't remind me).
Well that's all I got. I need to finish reading a couple chapters in a communications theory book for my class later this afternoon. See? There's some diligence for you! Alright, peace.
4 comments:
P.S.
Sorry about the links. Just copy and paste them.
I think that the age of majority should be twenty-one instead of eighteen, and hopefully as more and more college-age people remain financially dependent on their parents the laws will change to reflect the reality, protecting these vulnerable young people.
I loved this post because I feel the exact same way.
I just turned twenty-one on April 10th, and continue to be amazed that I've reached that milestone. I, like you, am completely dependent on my parents, but mine begrudge me it and act as if this is somehow unusual for a 21st Century 21-year-old.
And I, like you, have a serious problem with looking much younger than I am.
This is me in 2004, as a Junior in high school: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25922279@N08/3054725937/in/photostream/
This is me in 2009, as a Junior in college: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25922279@N08/3371406406/
You can see the issue. People still think I'm sixteen. Everyone tells me I'll be happy when I'm older, and I'm like, "Thanks, I'll remember that in twenty years."
I guess I would say this: enjoy your youth while you're young, and relish this time of your life. The time will come to be a grown-up, but as you said, we're just now reaching twenty-one. In today's society, that still means you're a kid.
I think we'll figure out how to be grown up as we live it.
"growing up" = loosing the kid inside you.....
i dont plan to ever grow up =P
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