A friendly Easter email response to a spammer

This blog post is an email response I sent to "Michael Lambert" of the "United Nations". The letter he sent me was a crapload of spam -- asking me for personal info and telling me I'm qualified to receive a quarter million dollars on behalf of some government program. To make it worse, this n00b even used a Yahoo email account. Here's what I replied back with:


Dear Mr. Lambert,

First of all, Happy Easter.

I fully appreciate the opportunity you are offering on behalf of the United Nations and Mr. Ki-Moon; however, I must ask you to kindly [knock] off.

Frankly, you are insulting my intelligence by asking me to give personal information to you. Everything about the email you sent me screams fraud -- everything from the spelling errors to the inappropriate use of capitalization. I pity the fool (pardon the Mr. T reference) who actually believes this rubbish. You are not affiliated with the United Nations, nor do you have a legitimate job, that is if scamming people from your Yahoo email account is your primary source of income.

I hope you remember these words I'm about to say to you -- because I'm saying them out of my earnest concern for your well-being:

Stop whatever it is you're doing with these bogus email letters and take a good, hard look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you like what you see? Is the man you see in the mirror someone you are proud of? These are hard times, my friend, and you need to really ask yourself if this is what you want in your life. Take charge of your life and don't settle for less. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." That's what I want of you -- I want you to be strengthened through your faith in Christ and your devotion to live for Him.

Believe me, this is not a spam email. Today is Easter Sunday -- the day of our resurrected Lord Jesus Christ. Do you think it's coincidence that you're reading this? Well, I honestly can't say -- but I do know that Jesus is welcoming you with open arms and that he loves you and always will love you. Know this and believe this.

Dedicate your life to Christ and be saved.

Sincerely,
Brent


Okay, so I'm either a tool or a very dumb evangelist. I don't really care. Whoever that guy is might read the letter and take it to heart. I totally meant what I said -- he needs a good smack in the face. Even if he writes all this off, at least I told him.