"With man this is impossible..."

Alright. This is about a week overdue, I know. Unfortunately, being very active for an entire month didn't correct my old habit of easily falling into lazy tendencies. This past week has been...odd. Time seems to be moving at the speed of smell -- then again I look back every night at what I did during the day and notice how fast time flies.

Agh, I just want to leave and get back Wengatz Hall where I belong.

Anyways, let's talk about my counseling job at Kanakuk Kamps. The four weeks that I was there defined my summer for me. I've never had a job that demanded so much of me -- but in return rewarded me with so much. And no, money has nothing to do with it (besides, I underestimated how little my paycheck was going to be anyways). No, I'm talking about "non-perishable" rewards that you'll take with you the rest of your life.

Of all the things I took from my time at kamp, there's one thing that I know is noteworthy:

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Yeah, I've heard that one, too. The disciples asked who among them can be saved, since Jesus just claimed it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rick man to enter the kingdom of God.

Let's cut to the chase. Am I willing to do what the rick man could not -- completely give up all I have for the sake of Christ? And no, I'm not just referring to money and our American luxuries. Am I willing -- or even able -- to give up all that I am for Christ? My reputation? My dignity? My honor (whatever honor a sophomore in college can possibly have)?

I've spent the greater part of this past year building myself up for what I hope to be the best year of my life. I'm at a good school. I got lots of friends I'll be returning to. I even got an awesome lineup of media classes I'll be taking. All the while, I'm enjoying myself on YouTube and several other online communities in hopes to meet new people. Listen, that's great and all -- seriously, I love all those things. But that's just it . . . that's what I'm living for. The things of this world won't last; however, that's what I appear to be most interested in.

This is where Kakakuk stepped in. Having four weeks to simply focus on one thing and one thing alone was a satisfying relief for me. It was like a timeout during a hectic, fast-paced game that resembles my life. The only thing I had to worry about at kamp was serving the kids. For four weeks my Facebook status didn't matter. For four weeks I didn't have to worry about making an awesome video in an attempt to get more subs. My academic life was at a pleasant stand-still -- no need to worry about classes, internships, or abroad study programs. My friends back home; they weren't going anywhere; they could wait. Simple.

I want that feeling all the time. I want to get back to a sense of harmony with both God and man -- where everyone around you is working for a common goal. In our situation at kamp, it was caring for the campers. Is it not possible for us to achieve this in the "real" world beyond a Christian sports camp and a private Christian college? Should I just deactivate all my online accounts and move up north to the Yukon -- away from everyone?

I can't answer these questions. I want these to happen, but I know today's culture and society constantly pull on us to submit ourselves to something -- something other than God's will. I feel so much like the disciples right now. "Who then can be saved?" Luckily, I've already answered that question by citing the verse. Convenient, yes, but it's much harder to live these things out than to simply wear the façade.

Agh, I'm digging a hole here it feels like. For those of you who have read this -- thanks. These thoughts have been on my mind for a while now and this may have been the perfect time and place to just let them out. So again, thank you. And yes, advice is gladly appreciated.